Photo: AmazonLast year’s holiday season was one of missed gatherings with family and friends, as the COVID-19 pandemic was in full swing and health officials advised against large get-togethers.Now with61 percent of Americans fully vaccinated— and more than 70 percent having received at least one dose — family traditions and celebrations are back in a big way.But the fact that we missed out last year can actually create additional holiday stress this time around, according toJesse Bashem, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist who practices in Ventura County, California. “We have higher expectations from what we’ve lived through recently,” he says. “There is likely going to be stronger emotional pressure to have that idyllic family holiday experience again.“To stay above the stress, Bashem suggests the following tips:Manage Expectations"We’re all out of practice,” Bashem tells PEOPLE in this week’s issue. “Before you set your holiday table or watch the kids unwrap gifts, get realistic with yourself about what a successful holiday experience looks like.“He adds that’s it’s important to acknowledge the difference between a flawless affair and what is likely to actually happen. “Recognize, as much as I might want this to be perfect, I’ve got to be realistic.“Awaken Your Inner Child"Pay attention to the way kids experience the holidays,” says Bashem. “They’re focused on playing games and interacting with family, and that enables them to be in the moment and participate in that joy fully.“Dr. Jesse Bashem.Create CalmPractice “distress tolerance,” skills that trick the brain into keeping panic or frustration from escalating.“When you start to stress, hum ‘Jingle Bells,’ " suggests Bashem. “Humming causes vibration in the throat, which triggers the vagus nerve to send that signal to chill out.“Another distress tolerance skill is the half smile — “crinkle the sides of our mouth” — or “literally splash some cold water on your face or put a cold ice pack on the back of your neck,” he says. The immediacy of the calming effect can be helpful in a tense moment. “This doesn’t require some deep, profound reflection on, ‘What did my sister-in-law say to me that got me so upset?’ “Set BoundariesHoliday obligations can stretch you thin. “It’s okay to say no to requests. Give yourself permission to ask for a moment to think about it before blurting out ‘yes’ because that’s what you’re supposed to do during the season,” Bashem says.That also means preparing yourself to hear “no.“Build an Emotional VocabularyIf you’re feeling angry, use language that reflects the degree of the emotion: annoyed, irritated, aggravated. “By choosing a word that matches the intensity, you gain control over the part of the brain creating that feeling,” says Bashem.Prioritize Your Health"Don’t neglect sleep,” says Bashem, “or any kind of physical health routines for healthy psychological functioning. The body is the main pathway that the brain receives information about the world.”
Photo: Amazon
Last year’s holiday season was one of missed gatherings with family and friends, as the COVID-19 pandemic was in full swing and health officials advised against large get-togethers.Now with61 percent of Americans fully vaccinated— and more than 70 percent having received at least one dose — family traditions and celebrations are back in a big way.But the fact that we missed out last year can actually create additional holiday stress this time around, according toJesse Bashem, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist who practices in Ventura County, California. “We have higher expectations from what we’ve lived through recently,” he says. “There is likely going to be stronger emotional pressure to have that idyllic family holiday experience again.“To stay above the stress, Bashem suggests the following tips:Manage Expectations"We’re all out of practice,” Bashem tells PEOPLE in this week’s issue. “Before you set your holiday table or watch the kids unwrap gifts, get realistic with yourself about what a successful holiday experience looks like.“He adds that’s it’s important to acknowledge the difference between a flawless affair and what is likely to actually happen. “Recognize, as much as I might want this to be perfect, I’ve got to be realistic.“Awaken Your Inner Child"Pay attention to the way kids experience the holidays,” says Bashem. “They’re focused on playing games and interacting with family, and that enables them to be in the moment and participate in that joy fully.“Dr. Jesse Bashem.Create CalmPractice “distress tolerance,” skills that trick the brain into keeping panic or frustration from escalating.“When you start to stress, hum ‘Jingle Bells,’ " suggests Bashem. “Humming causes vibration in the throat, which triggers the vagus nerve to send that signal to chill out.“Another distress tolerance skill is the half smile — “crinkle the sides of our mouth” — or “literally splash some cold water on your face or put a cold ice pack on the back of your neck,” he says. The immediacy of the calming effect can be helpful in a tense moment. “This doesn’t require some deep, profound reflection on, ‘What did my sister-in-law say to me that got me so upset?’ “Set BoundariesHoliday obligations can stretch you thin. “It’s okay to say no to requests. Give yourself permission to ask for a moment to think about it before blurting out ‘yes’ because that’s what you’re supposed to do during the season,” Bashem says.That also means preparing yourself to hear “no.“Build an Emotional VocabularyIf you’re feeling angry, use language that reflects the degree of the emotion: annoyed, irritated, aggravated. “By choosing a word that matches the intensity, you gain control over the part of the brain creating that feeling,” says Bashem.Prioritize Your Health"Don’t neglect sleep,” says Bashem, “or any kind of physical health routines for healthy psychological functioning. The body is the main pathway that the brain receives information about the world.”
Last year’s holiday season was one of missed gatherings with family and friends, as the COVID-19 pandemic was in full swing and health officials advised against large get-togethers.
Now with61 percent of Americans fully vaccinated— and more than 70 percent having received at least one dose — family traditions and celebrations are back in a big way.
But the fact that we missed out last year can actually create additional holiday stress this time around, according toJesse Bashem, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist who practices in Ventura County, California. “We have higher expectations from what we’ve lived through recently,” he says. “There is likely going to be stronger emotional pressure to have that idyllic family holiday experience again.”
To stay above the stress, Bashem suggests the following tips:
Manage Expectations
“We’re all out of practice,” Bashem tells PEOPLE in this week’s issue. “Before you set your holiday table or watch the kids unwrap gifts, get realistic with yourself about what a successful holiday experience looks like.”
He adds that’s it’s important to acknowledge the difference between a flawless affair and what is likely to actually happen. “Recognize, as much as I might want this to be perfect, I’ve got to be realistic.”
Awaken Your Inner Child
“Pay attention to the way kids experience the holidays,” says Bashem. “They’re focused on playing games and interacting with family, and that enables them to be in the moment and participate in that joy fully.”
Dr. Jesse Bashem.
Create Calm
Practice “distress tolerance,” skills that trick the brain into keeping panic or frustration from escalating.
“When you start to stress, hum ‘Jingle Bells,’ " suggests Bashem. “Humming causes vibration in the throat, which triggers the vagus nerve to send that signal to chill out.”
Another distress tolerance skill is the half smile — “crinkle the sides of our mouth” — or “literally splash some cold water on your face or put a cold ice pack on the back of your neck,” he says. The immediacy of the calming effect can be helpful in a tense moment. “This doesn’t require some deep, profound reflection on, ‘What did my sister-in-law say to me that got me so upset?’ "
Set Boundaries
Holiday obligations can stretch you thin. “It’s okay to say no to requests. Give yourself permission to ask for a moment to think about it before blurting out ‘yes’ because that’s what you’re supposed to do during the season,” Bashem says.
That also means preparing yourself to hear “no.”
Build an Emotional Vocabulary
If you’re feeling angry, use language that reflects the degree of the emotion: annoyed, irritated, aggravated. “By choosing a word that matches the intensity, you gain control over the part of the brain creating that feeling,” says Bashem.
Prioritize Your Health
“Don’t neglect sleep,” says Bashem, “or any kind of physical health routines for healthy psychological functioning. The body is the main pathway that the brain receives information about the world.”
source: people.com
