Battleship is fun , if downy amusement , and it ’s scarcely the kit and boodle of Shakespeare . But what if a view from Battleship was , in fact , penned by the Bard ?
Yoni Brenner provided this Shakespearean parody , which in reality functions as a pointed review of Battleship rather than square satire . Instead of earnestly translating battlewagon into iambic pentameter ( which , would have been pretty peculiar in and of itself ) , Brenner habituate the framework of a Shakespearian swordplay to spit the moving picture ’s ludicrous assumption and distractingly recognizable histrion :
CAPTAIN
infinite robots ? Art thou sure sugared Rihanna ?
For yea , I can not call up any such
automaton in the original board plot .
Only a grid of number and letters ,
And cheap plastic pegs with which for keeping score .
THE GUY FROM reliable BLOOD
Thou rememberest correctly O Captain
But the divinity at Hasbro hath recognized
Long ago that the Battleship firebrand
Couldst not survive on grids and peg alone .
Hence the place robots .
I see thy logical system .
What say’st thou Riggins from Friday Night Lights ?
RIGGINS
Pray let me defer to the True Blood Guy ,
For alas , I have blank out my lines .
I ’m just waiting for someone to perform Shakespeare ’s Battleship in the park .
Excerpts from William Shakespeare ’s Battleship[McSweeney ’s viaNeatorama ]
MoviesShakespeareWilliam Shakespeare
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