I registered designskunkworks.com , recollect it would be a good name for an Internet product companionship , not realizing that Skunkworks was a real , trademarked installation run by Lockheed Martin — or that you may now threaten to sue people just for registering a domain of a function name .
I ’ve long been a fan of David Thorne ’s hilarious email exchanges on27b/6and wonder if the proficiency could be put to use in a real Christian Bible scenario . freehanded companies do n’t do surreal . So when I received a nasty takedown letter from Lockheed Martin ’s lawyers , I sent them a flick of a kitten .
Below is the e-mail interchange that result :
Dear * * * * * ,
I ’m happy to transfer this sphere , since for ethical reasons I do not wish well to be tie in with Lockheed Martin , the manufacturer of bunch bombs and weapons of mass destruction , or any of the mass such as yourselves who represent them in such a harassing personal manner .
The domain was bought in unspoiled faith that it was not a trademark ravishment , since skunkworks is a commonly used term . I do not host this arena and any monies being made from it are by the domain recorder , whom you could contact severally . Since I have no idea how to arrogate a domain please commit detailed pedagogy .
Here is a video of an 8 hebdomad old kitty taken by Sasan Geranmehr to take your mind off things
Regards
David
heartfelt Mr. Galbraith :
Thank you for your cooperation . for transfer the field name to Lockheed Martin , we will need you to do the following :
( 1 ) Contact your registrar , Domain.com , and request that the domain name be unbolted ;
( 2 ) Also quest that Domain.com provide you with an authorization code to transport the area name ( this may not be usable for 60 days following the registration of the domain name ) ;
( 3 ) Once you obtain the say-so codification , please forward it to my vitamin E - ring armour address as well as to * * * * * * * * * * * * * * @******.com ;
( 4 ) As the administrative contact for the demesne name , you will then receive an tocopherol - chain armour from Corporation Service Company ( i.e. , * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * @*******.com ) asking that you approve the transfer of the domain name to Lockheed Martin Corporation . Please reply to that e - post state “ I concur ” to the knowledge domain name transfer .
We expect fore to receiving the transfer empowerment code .
truly ,
Hi * * * * * ,
I was a bit discomfited that you did n’t give thanks me for the gracious picture of the kitty I sent you .
I thought it was a kind gesture since , after having register a demesne that I quite reasonably believed was only a chain of ordinarily used English words , I was wrongly , distressingly and somewhat improbably charge of attempting to harm the byplay and reputation of a colossal blazonry manufacturer . I was also incorrectly incriminate of attempting to make money from this , when simple due diligence would have shown this to be faux .
I ’m further distress since having done a Google hunt for Lockheed Martin to see if you were in fact behave for them or this was just some sort of weird practical joke , there were some really gruesome images of citizenry with no eye and disfiguring wounds under the title of respect ‘ Lockheed Martin Cluster Bomb dupe ’ . I need to see some pleasant and reassuring picture of cute animals to remove these frightful image which have permeated my subconscious .
So here ’s the deal . I ’m out of scoop $ 9.99 for the domain you desire me to give to you and doing this transferral to gift it to you is a considerable scuffle vs let the domain lapse , as is , without me ever using it ( I have cancelled automatic yearly renewals and will never host any web site there ) , which I agree to do flatly . I also doubt I would win a fight against someone with nuclear weapon with my Swiss Army Knife .
If you send me a link to a picture of a really cute pup , I ’ll transfer the domain to you .
Best Regards
We revalue your cooperation . Our client is willing to reimburse your costs for enrollment of the arena name if you’re able to provide us with proof of same ( e.g. , receipt , invoice , etc . ) . We will also ask you to dispatch the attached W9 form to work on any reimbursement price . Thank you .
Sorry for the delay , I was in London , which would have been decent had it not rained khat and dogs .
speak of which , since the costs of me provide you with what you need to process the $ 9.99 reimbursement you offer would exceed the amount offered , and since , without uncertainty , the costs for your client to process this would also surpass the amount . Further , since the costs for yourself to organize this reimbursement would also certainly exceed this , it would be both a waste of money for all parties have-to doe with and merely a symbolic motion .
I am sure we agree on not wasting money and I am glad that you are interested in a symbolical gesture . The picture of a pup will be much cheaper and fill me with the joy that money simply can not corrupt . It will more that recompense for the tedium of follow the steps your client would wish , beyond merely not doing anything with the domain DesignSkunkworks.com
I await forward to get a wonderful picture of a pup ( as long as it is n’t a Chihuahua , or any other cad that is smaller than a domestic CT when amply grown ) after which I will gladly go through the detailed book of instructions your client would ideally like .
I did n’t experience a response from my last email of July 24th , with the
suggestion of a liquidation using puppy pictures rather than John Cash . I
intend I might , since your first letter contain all kind of
terrifying crypto - intimidatory legalese like I imagine you get when
you have n’t returned a library record for 36 years in a Kafka novel ,
demanding “ step ” and “ compose assurances ” etc . with a deadline of
“ August 6th , 2012″.
It ’s now September and I ’ve received less than one puppy image .
I realise that puppy film requital must be a more demanding
logistical problem , due to its irregular nature , for a bay window
like Lockheed Martin in comparability with tangled effectual procedure or ,
indeed , the manufacture of thermonuclear machine . I can grasp
that , it ’s no doubt a serious byplay and gravitas is important
dignity , is n’t authoritative to me , however . I authentically conceive the
world would be a better situation if eminently solvable legal difference of opinion
were resolved by the ludicrous ritual substitution of somewhat cloyingly
saccharine pictures that nevertheless made people whose personality
has been subsumed by institutional groupthink melt like grannies
huddled round a new born .
I ’ve make up a new term for this , Skunk Puppying .
consequently , if I have n’t get word from you by September 17th 2012 , I ’ll
assume that you are taking this topic no further and I ’ll have to get
a copyright free or Creative Commons ( CC BY - SA ) puppy photo , elsewhere .
All the best
Skunkpuppy competition.
I thought it would be beneficial to to a Skunkpuppy logo for other the great unwashed to expend when skunkpuppying . If you need to reinforce multitude who send you smutty letter with characterization of cute animals , you would be free to practice this under a Creative Commons license .
I was think something along the lines of a cartoon dog wearing a superhero outfit with his fist in the air .
My friend Keith had a twinge some ideas already :
Got entry of your own ? Share them in the word below !
David Galbraithis a fashion designer and Colorado - laminitis of several Internet companies including Yelp . He used to be an architect , work for Norman Foster . He ’s designed of all sorting of affair from skyscrapers to software system applications , but specialize in design the obvious . He created the visual bookmark concept behind Pinterest , the one - line bios used by Twitter and Facebook , and co - created RSS .
KittensPuppies
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