Photo: Noella Bergener/Instagram
The Real Housewives of Orange Countystar Noella Bergener is reflecting on the growth she’s experienced as a parent to a child with autism.
“The word autism just feels like cancer in many ways when you’re a parent. It’s just such a big word and it can overwhelm you,” she tells PEOPLE.
“My own personal struggle was my lack of education. I did think it was a death sentence. I was mourning the loss of the life that I thought that my barely 2-year-old son was going to have,” Bergener continues, noting that she left the appointment and just cried in her car.
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Noella Bergener/Instagram
The reality star reveals she went through a stage of denial and got James re-evaluated five times before taking action after it became “painful to watch your child struggle.” Bergener later placed James into early intervention programs with the help of speech pathologists and pediatricians, which she says has helped him “improve leaps and bounds.”
“I lost a couple months because I was factoring in everybody else’s opinions,” Bergener shares. “And that’s on my list of regrets on my deathbed, that I wasted months just being convinced of something that I knew in my gut was true.”
She adds, “It is very scary because, you know, you’re fighting for something that you don’t even want to believe yourself, which is a very strange headspace to be in. You can be feeling very alone but you have to trust your gut.”
Bergener says James typically struggles with socializing and making eye contact with others, but her daughter Coco has actually been a vital part of his development after she taught the 7-year-old what autism is.
“She just thought it was the coolest thing ever. Kids are amazing like this. So resilient, no judgment,” the mom of two adds.
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Bergener says Coco, her “mini me,” has been a “model” for her son. But for herself, “my own ignorance” initially stood in the way of her parenting and understanding “what the spectrum meant and the amazing things these kids can accomplish.”
“The fact that he knows his numbers and letters and he’s so bright, and he’s signing and he has such great interest and such a great vocabulary, even though he’s nonverbal,” Bergener continues. “In the last couple months, I’ve had to become fluent in him and it’s been a beautiful journey.”
Tommy Garcia/Bravo
As James continues to grow through his early intervention programs, the mother says she can see him feeling more “empowered.”
Bergener, as one of the newcomers toRHOC, tells PEOPLE that, though her son won’t necessarily make many appearances on the show, she hopes she can be open about her journey and “help other families and really get the word out on how important early intervention is.”
She says she’s already been able to forge friendships through discussing James' autism and her experience raising him, specifically noting that she’s bonded with fellow cast memberGina Kirschenheiter, whose daughter she says has received occupational therapy.
“Specifically with spectrum-related kiddos, you start to feel shame and you don’t want to talk about it. You just want to fix it and make it go away. So to be so well-received and have open conversations with the other ladies and know that I’m in a safe space, it really gives me a lot of hope,” Bergener says. “They were able to commiserate with me.”
The Real Housewives of Orange Countyairs Wednesdays (9 p.m. ET) on Bravo.
source: people.com
